video; cw: talk about suicide

[anewlanguage]

The end of the year, the holiday build-up, whatever it is, back home you could count on December and January being the peak suicide months. I always tried to plan my high-risk jobs around then; easier to get them written off as accidental deaths...or intentionally self-inflicted ones.

[He sighs, sips his drink (which is a soda for once)]

God, am I glad I'm retired. The trick to this place is, when you start feeling that.... It's like an urge to look over your shoulder, when you know you're being followed, right? That's what guilt's like. When you start to feel that, you have to figure out what you're going to do. And if any of you start thinking thoughts that maybe would get your warden or your inmate worried, just know that you're not the first person to feel it. And whatever it is that's tailing you, there's something better ahead of you, believe it or not.

For the record, though, now that I'm done pretending I like a good cry on my shoulder? I fuckin' hate holidays. Especially Christmas. It's those sweaters. Terrible....