001.

[anewlanguage]

[Cain has no interest in vlogging, but his video feed was switched on accidentally as he got settled into his room. So for a long while there's no sound, and the only picture is of the side of his leg. Then he notices that it's not cooperating, and he's not such a stoic prisoner that he'll just turn it off and pretend it hadn't happened.]

This is some kind of reality show, huh? 'True Lives of the Deadliest Inmates'?

Comments

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

People die. They don't usually come back.

[anewlanguage]

Kind of a pain that they do. I bet they come back with a vengeance.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

And a headache.

[anewlanguage]

Know that from personal experience?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Only from watching. I'm not stupid.

[anewlanguage]

Or hated, I guess.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Are you hated?

[anewlanguage]

Yeah. [He sounds like he could laugh over it.]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

It doesn't bother you.

[anewlanguage]

Nah. You do what you gotta do, let other people figure out what they feel about it. No concern of mine.

What, you think everyone out there is gonna like you?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

No. That's stupid. Being liked doesn't matter. [But being safe does.]

[anewlanguage]

You're pretty smart, kid. You must've had a hell of a lot of hard knocks.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

You learn to survive, or you die. I didn't want to die.

[anewlanguage]

How'd you go about surviving?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

I just did. [She doesn't really want to relive all the details, especially not for a stranger.]

How does anyone?

[anewlanguage]

Well that's the thing, darlin'. Most of 'em don't. Even the ones who live don't really survive. You know what 'shell shock' is?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[She just shakes her head, brow creasing a little. It's still hard sometimes, admitting she doesn't know things, or understand - but learning is better.]

[anewlanguage]

It means you're broken. Means part of you is gonna be living in that godawful trench--er, the bad event--the rest of your life. Means sounds and smells can make you go for a weapon or dive for cover, when nothing's even wrong. Gets to the point for most of 'em where they can't even function in society anymore.

That ain't surviving in my book.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

That's living afraid. [She likes him, he understands things and can put words to things she's seen, things she sure as hell can't name yet.]

Fear cuts deeper than swords. I'm not shell shocked. [She says it carefully, like she always does with new words - the better to remember them.]

[anewlanguage]

[He nods, just once, in firm agreement.] Then you've got a leg up on whoever's out to hurt you.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

No one's going to hurt me again.

[anewlanguage]

...Make sure you don't hurt you, either. Trust me, it's always the last thing you suspect.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

I'm not going to hurt myself.

[anewlanguage]

Yeah none of us sets out to. [He shuts up there, though.]