anewlanguage | Forward dated to after Iris-Roderick shenanigans

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[Private to Barbara Gordon]

We oughta do a check in, you and me.

[he's seething but managing to hide it. Kind of.]

[Private to Iris]

[This is the first time she's ever death tolled that he hasn't waited at her side for her to wake up. But he knows himself, and he knows that right now the safest thing for everyone is if he is nowhere near her.

So instead there's a message waiting for her.]

You've got a lot of fuckin' nerve doing what you did, darlin'.

[spam]

[And between all that he'll be wandering, mostly hanging out at the pool, which so far has only pretty happy memories. Nothing that he has the urge to scream at or shoot; progress!

Feel free to come poke the bear.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

anewlanguage

Well you aren't the first, and this ain't about honesty. You made damn sure you didn't lie about this, didn't you? You're drawn to people who struggle with the notion of not killing people. But lately you've been pushing a gun in their hands and egging 'em on, and you have never been dishonest about it.

If Harvey came back here all relapsed, how long would it be before you were letting him beat you to death for catharsis? Or hell, just for fun.

From:

routemistress

i think i need to work out how to stop doing that.

[HALP]

From:

anewlanguage

[That...that is not what he expected.]

...Well at least you're not the only one in the conversation who's had to figure out how to ditch the piss-poor coping skills.

From:

routemistress

dying does, i'm afraid, clear the mind terribly.

i don't entirely know how to stop wanting it, but i'll work that out as i go. just - please remind me of this. the next disaster, the next fall.

you'll see it.

[She types this quickly and sloppily, and hits send before she has time for second thoughts. It's easier not seeing him, not being seen, just this once.]

Edited Date: 2015-02-07 07:09 am (UTC)

From:

anewlanguage

Yeah. You're damn right I will.

You should talk to Barbara. She's more likely to hit you than I am. [Which really means Barbara is deeply hurt and Cain doesn't think it should be set aside for very long.]

From:

routemistress

ouch. yes.

thank you <3 <3

From:

anewlanguage

...Thank you's about the last thing I thought I'd hear.

[He wants to stay angry at her and can't, which means that he's sinking rapidly into the sheer hurt of it all.

Which means it's time for exercise and liquor.]

Look, just- get in touch if you need it.

From:

routemistress

[I need you now, she thinks, and then she doesn't say it.]

i'm not so stupid that i don't know things need to change. just apparently stupid enough not to let me have seen it coming.

you have always been a powerful force for keeping me honest. and I do need that.

[And I love you. But she doesn't say that either.]

From:

anewlanguage

[He's not above his own bad habits, his own unproductive circles. He thinks how unsettling it is to be so hurt and to realize you still love the person behind it, and he thinks about how there are only two people he's ever felt like that toward. And thinking about the last time he felt like this, he decides he still deserves the hurt part at least.

He doesn't say so, of course. And he swallows it back and tries to find some useful thing to do with the conflicting feelings.]

Well you can count on it, then.